Back to School Transitions: Finding Your Groove Again
Written by Melony Cohen, PsyD and Alexa Winer, AMFT
The start of a new school year brings with it a mix of emotions. For some kids, it’s an exciting fresh start filled with new friends, teachers, and opportunities. For others, it can feel daunting with earlier mornings, heavier schedules, and the big adjustment from summer’s flexibility to the structure of school. And for parents, it’s often a combination of pride, stress, and the ongoing challenge of holding it all together.
If your household feels like it’s riding the wave of “back-to-school energy,” you’re not alone. Transitions, even positive ones, take time, patience, and compassion. Younger children may experience separation anxiety, while older kids may juggle the pressures of academics, friendships, and extracurriculars. It’s completely normal for the first few weeks to feel a little bumpy as everyone finds their rhythm.
Here are some ways to help make the transition smoother for the whole family:
Open Communication
Create space for daily check-ins. Ask questions that go beyond “How was your day?” such as:
“What was the best part of today?”
“What was something that surprised you?”
“What was a challenge you handled well?”
When kids know their feelings, both big and small, are welcome, they’re more likely to open up.
Normalize Opposite Feelings
Kids (and adults) can feel two emotions at once. They might be excited to see their friends and sad about saying goodbye to summer. They may love their new teacher but feel nervous about homework. Validating both sides of their experience helps them feel understood and builds emotional resilience.
Establish Routines Early
Consistency is calming. Start by setting regular wake-up, bedtime, and homework times, even if it takes a little trial and error. Predictability reduces stress for both kids and parents. A steady routine helps mornings feel less rushed and evenings more peaceful.
Visual Cues
Many children thrive with visual reminders. A simple chart with pictures of “brush teeth,” “pack backpack,” and “eat breakfast” can empower them to take ownership of their routine. For older kids, checklists and planners can help build independence and reduce the morning scramble.
Create Small Rituals
Transitions become easier when kids know what to expect emotionally. A fun goodbye handshake, a short morning affirmation, or a cozy snack tradition after school can offer a sense of security. These rituals remind your child that no matter how the day unfolds, your connection is steady.
Practice Coping Skills Together
Back-to-school can bring jitters. Practice simple calming techniques with your child, like deep breathing (“smell the flower, blow out the candle”) or a grounding exercise (“name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear”). These tools give kids confidence when big feelings show up at school.
Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition
It’s amazing how much smoother transitions are when kids are rested and fueled. Start adjusting sleep schedules before the first week of school and plan balanced breakfasts to set them up for the day. A strong foundation in rest and nutrition helps kids focus and regulate their emotions.
Build in Downtime
After a structured school day, kids need time to recharge. Balance homework and activities with space to relax, play, or simply be. Downtime helps prevent burnout and gives kids a chance to process their day.
Model Self-Compassion
Transitions are challenging for parents too. Give yourself permission to feel the stress of juggling schedules, drop-offs, and responsibilities. Kids notice how parents handle changes, so modeling patience, flexibility, and self-care teaches them it’s okay to take breaks and adjust.
Give It Time
The beginning of the school year is a shift for everyone in the family. It’s okay if it takes a few weeks to truly settle into the new normal. Celebrate small wins, stay flexible, and remember that grace and patience go a long way. Remember, your child doesn’t need a perfect transition, just your steady presence.
With consistency, open conversations, and meaningful little rituals, you’ll soon find your groove again and maybe even enjoy the process along the way. If you find your child is struggling more than expected, reaching out for additional support can make the journey feel lighter for everyone.
